4/15/2009

Tear, today was our last day. How unfortunate that we traded one long night for two weeks off of this class?!?! What were we thinking? Don't get me wrong, the workshop was great, it's just too bad it was the workshop or two weeks of the best class I have ever taken. Ice cream was a great start to today's class. What I took away from this class were lessons I have already known but never really thought about or exercised throughout every aspect of my life. I realized this when we were watching the video of Jim Valvano receiving the courage award. He said to laugh, think, and in short, express your emotions EVERYDAY, and that is something I can honestly say I do every day. The best way I have always thought of life and how to treat others is something I saw in Aladdin as well as other movies. The genie gives you 3 wishes and every wish comes with a catch and you cannot wish for love because your heart is up to you to decide, but it's only when you wish for the happiness of someone else that you truly feel there is no small print, and on top of that it makes you feel great about it. What's meant to be will be, and if you have enough confidence then the genie is really just a metaphor for yourself. You have the power to choose something selfish or something that will be helpful to others. Being selfish is fine at times, but only if we understand that more pros are needed to outweigh a con. Selfishness is a con, so for every act of selfishness I do or anyone does, just to make sure to make 3 other people's days to make up for it. Being a better person isn't hard, it's just that people have become numb to emotions to avoid getting hurt, so when you feel happy, just be happy!! let it all out. I know I do and will continue to do! Feinberg, it would be great to hear/watch your lectures once in a while on a gray clouded day because it helps reassure what we already know but sometimes forget.

4/13/2009

What held most to my mind today was Feinberg's first story about acting on his anger. Although the warning of holding anger in for 48 hours, I would have to disagree with that only on certain circumstances. I think the best time for this anger to be released is when there is an abuse of power authority above you. I held the position for planning special events for my sorority and that year was when our honor board was extremely power crazy. It's incredible what a touch of power can change people into their darker side and I was convinced I would put them back into their place. They put me in a state of confusion when they decided to lie about the consequences about grade standards. They made me feel like a piece of crap for just doing my job and I did my research from our honor board handbook and found out what they said to some of the girls about their grades and going to the dances was completely unnecessary and inappropriate. I quoted it and sent an email to the entire house, which I thought was a bad idea for a little bit but realized afterwards that that's what they needed to put them in their place. I don't regret my decision one bit, and although you might be confused on what I am saying because I can't necessarily tell you what exactly occurred, the main point is that defying authority, even in anger, is perfectly fine as long as you have your own ass covered and you know what you're doing. Keep your cool and prepare for the consequences. I prepared for the consequences and when I told them my side of the story, they had no choice but to agree that it was the right thing to do.

The rest of the class dealt with pain. It was hurtful to see them many types of pains of all of us in the same room. It was a bond that Feinberg had made, a perfect way to end the class. I saw my pain up there and was glad that my name wasn't on it, not because I am ashamed of it, but because I know that if there was a name then people tend to deny a similar pain they can relate to. There were many pains I have dealt with and it helped to keep it anonymous and make it more personal. I read them in my point of view, not someone else's.

4/8/2009

Oh the wonderful world of movies, the joy, the fright, the love, the hate, the anger, the betrayal, the fantasy, the perfect world, etc. The solution to a bad day, how to continue a great day, and the ability to find someone to relate, even if it is fiction. I, just as you Feinberg, have been obsessed with movies. I can't fall asleep if a movie just started on tv, and it doesn't help that I didn't have cable at home until just THIS YEAR!! amazing isn't it. Actually, as I'm speaking/ blogging, I am watching a movie right now. I have an odd reaction to movies, maybe I watch too many, but I seem to always forget the endings even to movies I have seen many times. It just has to be a sign that movies will live on forever and maybe endings, actually endings are definitely not the important part of our lives. What happens in between and how we get to the end is the important message. Afterall, some movies leave it hanging, for you and I to decide what goes on. How movies give us this power is incredible. Being able to finish someone else's story. Even if we don't have our lives quite perfectly in tact, there's always a way out, another option, and movies show us that through the eyes of someone else exactly that can happen. I have been able to recall even the songs that are in movies, recognizing the exact voice of characters without even looking at the television, and even if it does seem a little useless or ridiculous I see it as helping me with my memory, recollection, and ability to travel into a movie just by hearing the song. The soundtrack is such an important part because it helps us bond again with the movie even when we aren't watching it. Even before words in movies, there was sound. How movie writers and producers figured out that was the way to connect with everyone else is amazing.

4/6/2009

There are 2 dimensions of decision making: 1) the right decision 2) the need for others to adopt (acceptance)
--> Decision making has always been a conflict between relationship-oriented and task-oriented people, and especially hard for those that value both, like me. I believe that results come out of an effective group, one that gets things done as well as gets to know each other because if you like who you work with then it makes working together more efficient, most of the times. It's when there is a conflict/disagreement that makes it hard to decide what to do and what side to take. I've taken both sides before, and even if voting is considered one of the worst ways for decision making it is however one of the easiest and time saving. Although, what normally happens in group situations I have been is discussion of options and we write them down and then narrow it down by voting. Once an option is taken out then that vote has to go towards another option and in the end one solution arises. If it's between two options then we pro and con both more in depth before making a decision. This just comes down to how persuasive the person can be, and realistically, if someone is more gung ho about their decision then they will lead it and will be able to defend it better than someone who just chose the other solution for the sake of having another opinion.

2) the need for others to adopt (acceptance)
This is where persuasion comes in handy. If I feel strongly about my decision, I make it my goal to convince everyone else of my decision as well because I know if they don't fully commit to my idea and it's the chosen one, then they will continually complain either in front of me or not to my face; both of which would hurt the group dynamic. So in order to avoid this potential hurt to the group, it's best to persuade and have every member accept/adopt the solution.

As for meetings, I just had a presentation in one of my COM classes where we had to hold a meeting, with a conflict, make an agenda, and write minutes and a memo from it. I've been used to using agendas and having minutes from greek life as well as the sales fraternity I am a part of so it really didn't take that much time, but I know how much it helps in meetings. It's natural for people to get off track and that's when the agenda is a life saver, especially when a group has a tendency to get side tracked it's an easy way to get back to the meeting without offending anyone. Minutes is especially helpful not only as a record of what happened, but also helpful for those that weren't present at the meeting to catch up. In my COM class, we had to watch a movie called Meetings, Bloody Meetings.

4/1/2009

I will become the trim tab. The most necessary asset in any future company I will work for. In today's society, more like America, the stigma of lazy non forward-seeking workers is what I have grown up to go against. Thanks to my parents they have pushed me to be ahead of the curve since I was in the womb. I was born already knowing two languages as I grew up going to school to learn English and the necessary subjects. When I came home, school continued but in different languages. My mother spoke Taiwanese while my dad spoke Mandarin; both are dialects of each other but they share the same written language. It wasn't just languages though, my mom knew that knowledge is what will set me apart and since I was fortunate enough to catch on fast, she just kept throwing challenges to me. While kids in my class were just starting to learn multiplication, I had already finished all multiplication as well as division. It was great to have someone push me so hard. When I got to college, I lost a bit of the motivation as I got sidetracked with all the freedom, but since I was so used to work being a part of my life, homework was a breeze. What I worked on was my social life. Small talk, even today, seems to me as one of the hardest conversations to have. To set yourself apart from the usual 3 is very difficult. The usual 3 I consider is: What's your name, you major, where are you from? Really does any of that matter? Highly doubtful when we are all at the same place now at the same time. What my parents have instilled in me is what sets me apart and what will make me the best damn trim tab for any company I choose to work for and not the other way around.

Today we simulated being deserted with the possible 15 items to rank in order of importance. My score was closer than our groups, but that wasn't because they didn't hear me out. I spoke my mind for the items I knew had to hold some importance and for those I guessed on, I listened to other group members that were more intuitive to survival tactics. I believe we did a great job, and despite if you believe in luck or not, I consider myself to be a pretty lucky person and that helps when I'm guessing. I got the lowest score in my team, but it's harder to convince people to change their choices because of my luck over others that have actual technique and reasoning. Luck will forever be my strength and I will use it to my best advantage.

3/30/2009

To start today, we looked at PSG running elections and before Feinberg even asked the question of what's wrong with this picture, I already knew. I have grown up as a very independent person. I care for those that care for me and I don't believe that anyone should be restricted to do anything because of what they look like or how they were born. For the past nearly decade, my direct family is what I consider to be me, my brother, and my mom. My parents got divorced when I was 12 and despite still have great relations with my dad, I don't consider him sincerely interested in what is going on in the 3 of our lives. This is where I partially received my "I don't give a shit about you because it's all business mentality", but along with his attribute I also got my mother's "A woman can do anything, and we have emotions for a reason mentality". So it's easy to see that these two sides of my personality may clash at times. I am emotionally there for those that I know and care about, for those that I have some relation with, but many times it's also to strangers. Life has a lot of gray areas and this is one of my biggest gray areas. I have seen how friends and strangers as well can take advantage of a friendship and vice versa, I have seen how strangers and friends can step up to the plate of trust when you need them. A long time ago, my mother told me never to mix friendship with money. Money is a drug and if you want it then you get it yourself, but do not involve your addiction with someone you care about and do not trust someone that looks to you for your "drug". What a crazy life it is that money can sometimes buy happiness? It's true because look at what you can't get if you lack money? Shelter, food, clothing, the basic necessities basically. So honestly, yes, money can buy happiness in the terms of a foundation but not the true happiness most forget to strive for. Back to the class, I am a very woman power type of person. I'm not one to go parade around but I do believe in changing those who feel they are powerless first hand.

A story: my roommate came back with her friend from the cactus a couple weeks back and they were crying their eyes out. Now I hate crying, aside from crying in movies, I really have no interest in crying or those that are crying unless the matter is serious. This was a serious matter, they told me how they were hit by this guy in the back of their head and the other girl got a punch on the side of her head near her temple and he proceeded to pour his drink on her and into her eyes. She returned the favor of the drink pouring and his friend poured his drink on her, so now I have my roommate who just got hit and her friend who is drenched with vodka on her clothes and in her eyes. What now? They said they went to the security and they told them off with the response of "well, what do you want me to do? I didn't see it. You're just overreacting" WHAT?!?!?!? Overreacting they should! and shame on the Cactus for even thinking this was a norm. I asked if they remembered what he looked like, could they pick him out of a crowd? what was he wearing? Basically interrogating them to see what options they had. I have taken self defense classes in high school as a part of the curriculum and it has taught me to remember the specifics because that's all you can count on in the end. Of course, they were a little intoxicated and couldn't remember aside from him wearing a shiny ed hardy shirt. How ridiculous that this abuse is still allowed and taken so lightly. Here's where my independence comes in, I believe that you should have a mentality to never count on others and in this case it was right, the security guards were of no help. I didn't even think about how they could have called the police because really, what evidence did they have? It was not their fault that this fight started, but it was their fault in terms of feeling helpless. It's normal to feel that way in these situations, but that's probably why women have a stigma of being overly emotional and not trusted for high positions. We need to adapt to put feelings aside at the right time to concentrate on the problem.
It all starts with one person trying to provide something they know to another. Then hopefully it will help someone else in the future. It may have been too late to help my roommate and her friend in this situation, but after talking with them about what they should have done if this was to happen again then they could prevent it from happening. Their response before I fully convinced them how important this was was "it's not going to happen again, we're not going back there". My response I very bluntly added was "this is not the last time". This scared them but they realized that sometimes putting a stronger forefront can not only help in these situations but also prevent them altogether. I'm not saying we should act like guys and be almighty and knowing, but in certain situations it is a better outcome than flashing our eyelashes at them.

Now that I got that out of my system, onto the rest of what I thought about class. Communication, it's the most important thing for not only school and friends, but also work and family. All communication is two way nowadays with the ability to ask questions and listen as well. Someone talking and nobody listening is equivalent to no communication taking place, so if you want to communicate effectively you need to learn to listen and also talk about things that will make your listening easy on the ears and want to listen rather than forcing to hear you. This is the more difficult and more time consuming method but the end result is always better, just as we saw in class today. Today's class gave me a flashback of just a couple weeks ago when I went to my second interview for a job. I was interviewing again with the same person and all I could think about what what else should I ask for him to know I'm interested? I don't want to ask questions I can find out myself or that I already know the answer of. This is what I believe the hardest part of any interview is. It's open ground shooting and you don't know where to aim. I finished my interview for what I thought was great, and as I was walking back after the interview with him I asked him a question I believe was the most resounding. "What can I work on?" I was even impressed and I could tell he was too. He was more than happy to tell me and I was more than happy to take it. He said what I could work on for my interview with the next guy in the afternoon and that's exactly what I did. That was the best, most fun, and most rewarding interview I have done thanks to communication.